I picked up my son yesterday from a sleepover and he was strangely content. Usually when I pick him up after a sleepover he is a grumpy, overtired, hungry train wreck. But yesterday he was calm, happy, introspective. He said to me, “You know, right now I don’t want anything. I don’t need anything. I am fine. It’s such a strange feeling. I’ve never felt this way before.”
The sarcastic adult in me said to itself “Wait five minutes kid, it’ll pass.”
Thankfully, I kept my mouth shut because he went on talking. He talked about how we’re all the same, that basically nothing separates us; we’re all the same particles of space dust, a further iteration of the Big Bang, and that the only thing that separates us from each other is thought.
For an armchair philosopher such as myself, it was glorious. He went on to talk about these videos he watched about a video game (he is obsessed with video games and videos about video games). In this game, a robot gains sentience. He endures slavery and prejudice, grapples with free will and emotions, has to choose between right and wrong, etc. When I asked him, “wait, this is a video game?” he confirmed that yes, it is a video game and it hasn’t come out yet, but he can’t wait to play it.
A video game does that?
I was shocked!
Screens are the bane of my parenting life. I hate, I mean really deeply, hate video games. My kids would spend all day, every day on screens if I let them. But, screens make them moody zombies. Screens turn them into these creatures addicted to instant gratification. After playing games, they can’t do anything on their own. They just mull around waiting for something to stimulate them.
Yet, this game had this weird effect on my kiddo. He’s calm, introspective, thoughtful. Because of these videos, we had an amazing conversation about Descartes and the nature of consciousness.
We connected because of a video about a video game about sentience. And he can’t wait to play it.
Wow.
We often think that this way of doing something is bad or that way isn’t “the way” and yet… beauty can come out of anything.
Even a video game.
This is something I have to remind myself of constantly. The thing I think I know, the thing I think is right is only a perspective. We really have no idea. There is no one way of doing anything. There are ways. They either work for us or they work against us. And what that “thing” is, is up to us to decide individually.
Just something to think about on your way to your day today.
Practice Selfishly
I recently read an NPR article re the first government agency dedicated to the health and wellbeing of children. There is a line "women..., arguing to lawmakers that children are a national resource, and that if America's leaders didn't soon do something to help the next generation thrive, the future of the still-young country was at risk."
This idea - that people are a national resource - has stuck in my brain. A resource is a stock supply of something you draw upon to function well. It is always positive. That is why healthy, well cared for people create stable, healthy communities. They create great ideas. They innovate and elevate. Taking care of us is an imperative to creating a great nation.
Yet, taking care of each other is often reduced to an economic argument; I either believe in spending money to help others or I am against spending money on others. Simplifying the argument this way is reductive. It is also destructive. It ignores the actual, physical, mental and emotional benefits to oneself when we take care of each other. Ensuring our neighbors have clean, safe drinking water, access to health care and education, adequate support for joblessness, homelessness and hunger, means we are also improving our own lives. It decreases communicable diseases and infestations, social isolation, and improves public safety. Our lives improve despite the fact that we have less money.
The same can be said for our personal lives. When we believe our self-worth is linked to our financial status, we are over simplifying. We fail to take into consideration our need for expression, connection, play. We limit our ability to be resourceful, creative and engaged.
And while this may seem perfectly obvious, it is often forgotten when it comes to our efforts as a yoga teacher. Because, let’s be honest, teaching yoga is not always lucrative. Especially when we are just getting started.
So why do it? I mean, I took that training because I hate my job. I want to change my career, I want to be able to do this professionally!
Because, while I know we all need to make a living to pay the rent, doing something you love doesn’t have to be lucrative to be worth it. Tying your teaching success to your economics is too reductive. It thwarts your chances for future success. It keeps you from seeing a class of two people as an opportunity. You will walk into that class and think “only two people showed up, damn.” Instead of, “Oh wow - TWO WHOLE PEOPLE showed up! What a gift!”
Every opportunity to teach is a chance to build up your resources. Every teaching moment is a chance for you to practice honing your craft. It may not be lucrative, but it is rich with opportunity.
As you start teaching, think of your efforts like your yoga practice. Effort is not wasted. You need the practice. And practicing is a selfish endeavor. You practice for you. You practice learning, to become better skilled, more acquainted with yourself. You practice filling the tank. As the tank fills, you will have more resources to grow your business.
Yoga teaches us that momentary experiences are transient, that initial perception are often wrong, that loving oneself is an act of faith and determination, and that all of life is changeable. Learning these lessons over and over again as a teacher moves us from the selfish act of practice to the self-less act of sharing. Learning these lessons over and over again make us better teachers and being better teachers means we will be better suited for a life of teaching.
Do not cut out before you get a chance to cut your teeth ;)
I hope this helps. Feel free to below with your thoughts.
Freedom & Leadership
I have been spending a lot of time lately thinking about the concept of freedom and our perceptions of it. I think we are often told that being free is akin to eternal happiness. When we are truly “free” we will feel blissful, comfortable and calm. From an esoteric perspective, this is what freedom promises us; a life free from suffering. However, freedom from suffering doesn’t necessarily mean a life of happiness. The presumption that the other side of suffering is happiness is a human construct. It is based on the assumption that happiness in and of itself is a preferred state and that it is sustainable. It ignores the fact that unhappiness sits on the other side. Just like there is a sun and a moon, happiness and unhappiness are eternal bedfellows. If you have one, you will most definitely gain the other at some point. Therefore, the absence of suffering is not happiness. It is merely the absence of a state of being. What that looks like is truly anyone’s guess!
What we consider our own, personal freedoms are often misconstrued in the same way. Freedom as a concept invariably comes with the subtext of “happiness.” I enjoy freedoms; therefore, I am happy. Yet, human freedom is not always joyful. It is not always fun. In order to ensure my own freedom, I must confer freedom upon others. In conferring freedom upon others, I am going to be subjected to their differences. Their differences are going to make me mad, sad, uncomfortable. I will then have to grapple with the concept of what it means for everyone to be free, including the people I don’t like. I have to grapple with myself. Personal freedom is personal responsibility. We have to take ownership of our choices and their consequences. Personal, human freedom is, by its very nature, suffering. It forces us to look at our own nature and choose to either rise above or give into it.
Freedom isn’t a guarantee of safety. It never promises you will be safe from harm. We are not safe because we are free. We are free; and we may or may not be safe. That is why fighting for and accepting freedoms comes with risk. It is an act of courage and bravery. Not because we have to fight everyone who doesn’t think like us, but because we have to accept that everyone doesn’t act like us. We have to be big enough, bold enough, strong and brave enough to be OK with the shadow of the unknown, the “otherness” of others.
After 9/11, permits were filed to build a mosque next to the World Trade Center. The buildings were still in rubble and emotions were raw. There was a public outcry. I remember saying that I felt that, if the zoning laws permitted it, they should be allowed to build their mosque where they wanted. Someone snapped back “You do? Why?!” My response then, is my response now; freedoms don’t just apply to the dominant group. They belong to everyone. If I am pro this and you are anti that, you aren’t wrong because I think I am right. And the fear of “other” is not a sufficient reason to deny someone their humanity.
Accepting the freedoms of everyone is an act of bravery. It is a step off a ledge into the abyss. It is an act of faith and humility.
Leaders take that leap of faith first. Leaders survive the free fall of uncomfortable otherness and live to tell the tale.
Therefore, in your yoga practice, in your life, be the one to leap first. Others will follow.