"Krishna, what compels a person
to commit evil
against his own will,
as if compelled by force?
It is desire and anger, arising
from nature's quality of passion;
know it here as the enemy,
voracious and very evil!" *
My father suffered from Bipolar 1 disorder, a severe mental illness "defined by manic episodes that last at least 7 days, or by manic symptoms that are so severe that the person needs immediate hospital care."* Every episode that resulted in hospitalization was brought on by blinding rage.
It wasn't until he'd almost accidentally killed himself that he realized how much his anger was controlling him. After that, he decided he wouldn’t get angry anymore.
From that point on I never saw my father give into, or respond out of, anger. This didn't mean he didn't get mad, but he just refused to let his anger overpower him. When he was triggered, he would retreat, regroup, and breathe until he could think clearly. Once calm, he would assess his options and make choices. At all times, in every situation, he controlled his anger.
I wish I could say I learned through his example, that I am a pillar of calm, measured responses, but, no. I did not, I am not.
I do know however, whenever I respond in anger it never goes well. No one has ever said to me, "You are right!" after I've gone off on them.
Literally no one.
So much of our lives are now viewed through a lens that is designed for discontent; the more angry it makes us, the more potency it has, the longer the engagement, etc. If we let it, this puts us squarely in the "qualities of passion" (rajas) and robs us of our ability to remain equanimous (sattva); the state we need to be in to make true, meaningful change. Weaponizing our anger compels us to act "against our will" which robs us of our ability to seek true, meaningful connection and discourse.
Practices like yoga teach us how to control our reactions, to take a step back, to find mutually agreeable solutions and compromise. And while this may not drive the algorithm, it will certainly help us "kill this evil that ruins knowledge and judgment" (3.41) which will truly help us lead more fulfilling lives.
So keep on keeping on and enjoy that practice my friends!
Love you.
*From: Stoler Miller, Barbara, The Bhagavad Gita Krishna's Counsel in Time of War. Bantam Dell, New York., 1986.